On Being the Sibling of an Aborted baby


People always seem to have an opinion about the abortion debate, are they Pro-Life…Pro-Choice (I’m not even going to touch “Pro-Abortion”…seriously, go educate yourself.) Does a woman have a right to an abortion in this situation..or that situation?? That’s not my call to make. No one talks about the rest of the family that abortion impacts. Everyone gets so wrapped up in a WOMAN’S right to chose they forget the rights of the rest of the people affected by abortion, specifically the right to mourn.


As a sibling of 3 aborted babies I had no part in the abortions or the choices the women who had those abortions made. My father was never one to make the best choices. He had multiple partners, two who I specifically know had abortions. One was a boy they had named Jon before she made the decision to abort, against my fathers wishes. I’m not going to comment on her decision, her choice…..because I don’t live her life. It wasn’t my body enduring the pregnancy…but that was my brother for all intents and purposes. I learned about the second abortion casually, as though it was a flippant decision, like changing a pair of socks, a set of twins…..and I felt a need to protect those babies at all costs. I took them, gave them names, someone who loved them.

I have endured 3 losses of my own, and knew support was other there. Sadly when I went to the very people who had supported MY losses, they had nothing but hurt and spiteful words when it came to my siblings….I was judging the women who had made the decisions on some level they felt….which was never the case. Worse yet, these were babies lost to ABORTION and how dare I try to seek support for them. I was condemned as though I was the one who had done the aborting….It’s sad when the loss community who claims to be so much about unity and healing is really about being ugly and judgmental, especially people who are in positions of leadership, positions to make a difference.

When I lost my babies another loss mom had put me in touch with an organization, Molly Bears, That could give me a tangible link to my children. Wanting to give the same gift to my father (who isn’t at all tech savvy, he’s probably the last person on earth who still doesn’t have an e-mail address) I signed him up to get bears for his children, my siblings…. After being on the waiting list for MONTHS…… I was finally told that we would not be getting bears because of the way my siblings died….. even though many other families had lost babies though no fault of their own….because the cause of my siblings death happens to be “abortion” a decision my father, nor myself had NO part in …..our loss wasn’t good enough. THIS is the kind of support that waits families affected by a loves ones abortion…GUILTY BY ASSOCIATION! Maybe one day things will change….attitudes will change, but it starts with open hearts and open minds ❤


One thought on “On Being the Sibling of an Aborted baby

  1. Reblogged this on Surviving Sibling and commented:
    I feel honored and blessed to know the author of this! I am proud of her for sharing and am excited that we both wrote on this subject, on the same day! Hopefully by reading our stories, more eyes will be opened and more will be inspired to share their stories!

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